Day One: The Door Inside
Somehow, this pain points to that door. Maybe pain is the door.
I can open the door now or later. I can pull it open only a crack, or I can walk right through to see what is there beyond the pain.
In my imagination I reach out inside myself, take a deep breath, and turn the handle.
I find a way to express what I sense beyond that door. I write about it, or I make a drawing or collage, or I sing, or dance, or act it out.
Today, somehow, some way, I connect with what lies beyond the door of pain within my secret self.
Day Two: Telling My Story
Why not? Was I afraid they wouldn’t want to know, or they wouldn’t really listen, or understand?
Today, I will find someone to talk to. A friend, a sibling, a therapist. My dog or cat. The tree in the backyard.
I will ask them to listen and not try to make it all better, not try to fix me–just witness me in silence. I will let them know that this is the most helpful and healing thing they can do for me right now.
Today I will tell someone my whole story without holding back for their sake.
Day Three: Reclaiming Life
Perhaps pain will not readily move over for me, and I understand that. It is the nature of pain.
So, today I do one thing I love to do, even if it’s only for a brief time, and even if pain has to come with me.
I would rather share the experience with pain, if I must, than not have it at all.
Today, I reclaim the art of enjoying my life.
Day Four: The Rant
Shouted, whispered, written, or howled. I let it out.
In the shower, into my pillow, typed into my computer, or in my car.
Ten full minutes.
And then I breathe.
Day Five: Laughter
Today, I find at least one reason to laugh.
And then another, if I can.
And another.
Today, I reclaim my humor, and my ability to be lighthearted, even if it’s just for the duration of a silly movie.
Because if I can laugh once, even in this pain, I can laugh again.
Day Six: Freedom
I stop fighting with the pain I am in.
I stop fighting myself.
I take a deep breath and ask: What would I like instead?
Then I give myself the closest thing to it that I can find or create.
Day Seven: Returning to Life
But that’s not the truth. This pain has not been here all my life. There was a beginning. And since there was a beginning, I can imagine an end.
Today, to remind myself that there is life outside of this pain, I find one thing I used to love doing before the pain came and I find a way to do it, even a little, and even if it’s only in my imagination.
And tomorrow, I do it again. And every day that I am able. I remind myself of who I was. Who I really am. Who I want to be.
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Sarah Anne Shockley has lived with nerve pain from Thoracic Outlet Syndrome since 2007. She is the author of The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom For Living With and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain, Living Better While Living With Pain, and 30 Days of Living Better While Living With Pain. |