The Pain Companion
  • Home
  • about
  • Videos
  • Books
  • Interviews
  • reviews
  • resources
  • Contact

Living With Chronic Pain Is A Full Time Job

9/21/2016

12 Comments

 
Picture
We usually think of side effects as the negative by-products of ingesting pharmaceuticals, but chronic pain produces its own side effects.

These side effects result from the many challenges of living with pain that go far beyond the experience of the pain itself.

Experiencing any of them can be distressing, especially if we don’t realize that other people are having them too.


All That From Pain?

Side effects from chronic pain include a myriad of emotional and physical challenges. I’ve written about the decrease in brain power (When Pain Hijacks Your Brain, Losing Your Smarts to Pain) and sleep deprivation (Zombie Apocalypse: Chronic Pain and Sleep Deprivation) in other articles and posts.

Today, I want to talk about one of the side effects that can be hardest to explain to others and which can create the most self blame and misunderstanding: It Takes All Day To Do (Almost) Nothing.
 
When we’re in constant pain, it can literally take most of our day to get out of bed, wash up, get dressed, eat something, and make a cup of tea. If we’re having a good day, maybe we can make one important phone call or complete one page of a form before we’re done.
 
Why is this important to recognize? Because too often we think we are supposed to continue keeping everything together despite our pain. We think we’re supposed to buck up, be strong, and just keep going.
 
Why doesn’t it work that way? Because just being in pain takes most of our energy. End of story.

Today, I Made A Cup Of Tea

It’s important that we recognize this fact and give ourselves a break and stop expecting so much. We can’t keep up with life as usual. We probably can’t keep up with even a fraction of what we used to do. We need to give ourselves permission to unhook, unplug, de-stress, and move very slowly, AND we need to gently inform the significant others in our lives of these facts.
 
We don’t get much done in a day because being in chronic pain is what we’re doing all day.

When we’re in pain our experience of time is different. Our experience of energy and what we can do with it is different. Our entire consciousness is different. We are living in a different world with very different parameters, limitations and no meaningful timetable.
 
So what do we do about this? Take an online course for increasing productivity? NO! Read a bestseller on doing more with less? NO!

The very simple and important answer is: we live within our present limitations.
 
I know it’s very hard to not feel guilty about doing very, very little, especially if we are Type A individuals or are parenting in pain. Or both. We worry about losing ground or not being there for our kids, I know.
 
But chronic pain is something that can’t be muscled through. Persistent pain takes up most of who we.
 
Beating ourselves up emotionally because we can’t do as much as we used to do is not going to help us get through this faster or in a more healthful way. We’re only adding to the pain we’re already in.

Healing Is A Full Time Occupation

So, as much as is possible, it’s important to understand that our current occupation is healing. We need to let ourselves off the hook as often as we can and honor our current physical restrictions.

The reason we’re not doing much is not because we’re lazy, or we’re taking advantage of other people, or we’re letting pain take over, or we’re failing to heal. We’re doing very little because the body is putting most of its energy into healing.

Even though we may hate the fact that we’re unable to do much while in pain, our limitations are good for us. They force us to slow down, breathe, stop trying so hard, relax, and focus mostly on doing whatever we need to do to heal.

Even if it means that sometimes it takes all day to have a cup of tea.


Thanks for reading! Please like and share!

Image: In Realms of Fancy (Detail), John William Godward, 1911 (Wikimedia Commons)

SUBSCRIBE

Picture

Sarah Anne Shockley has lived with nerve pain from Thoracic Outlet Syndrome since 2007. She is the author of The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom For Living With and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain and Living Better While Living With Pain. She is a staff columnist for Pain News Network.

12 Comments
Valerie link
9/26/2016 12:59:34 pm

Thank you for this! I needed this today.

Reply
Sarah link
9/27/2016 09:26:20 am

So glad it was helpful, Valerie!

Reply
Janet link
10/6/2016 03:23:16 pm

Expressing a sigh of understanding....

Reply
Sarah link
10/7/2016 12:44:50 pm

Yes...sigh....

Reply
Clara
10/7/2016 11:36:59 am

My daughter sent me yor article.. The thinking of my time was you muscled through things and did not show you were in pain....I still put on my happy face but can Not muscle through anymore. I have a very surportative spouse and if others do not understand ...well I am to the point where it does not matter. I do not have the energy to keep explaining.....I enjoyed reading your article.

Reply
Sarah link
10/7/2016 12:46:18 pm

Yes, Clara, that's the way I was brought up - just keep pushing your way through, no matter how much pain you're in - grin and bear it - doesn't always work out so well, though. I'm glad you got something out of the article, and I wish you the best.

Reply
Cyndi
10/10/2016 09:23:23 am

I needed this so much today. It's nearly 10:30 am and I am deep under the covers. I've been here since last night.
I forget how taxing chronic pain really is. No idea why we forget that! Maybe because as women we always try and push through it. Never mind ourselves, the family comes first. Until you get hit really hard like I am now. I can hardly move.. thank you for reminding me.

Reply
Sarah link
10/10/2016 12:23:09 pm

Yes, I relate to your comments about being women in pain and how much we usually expect of ourselves, despite our pain. Some days we just have to stay under the covers. That's the way it is. Thanks for your comment, and I wish you deep rest today.

Reply
Debra Dolan
10/28/2016 09:18:20 am

I am so glad that I found your blog. It expresses how I am feeling. Thank you.

Reply
Sarah link
10/28/2016 11:23:01 am

Thanks, Debra. I'm very glad that it's helpful to you!

Reply
Judith Skillman link
4/14/2018 09:06:53 pm

Thank you for articulating these things. It helps to think of pain as 'healing'. I have a tremendous fatigue for life.

Reply
Flo
10/25/2019 03:25:26 am

"So what do we do about this? Take an online course for increasing productivity? NO! Read a bestseller on doing more with less? NO!"
This made me laugh and laugh and laugh... (And blush)
I've just discovered your work, and I thank you so much!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Welcome to The Pain Companion Blog! Reflections and sound advice on living with chronic pain - a peaceful way station on the path to greater well being.
    About Sarah Anne Shockley

    Picture

    Books

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    RSS Feed

    Chronic Illness Bloggers
    © 2015-2021 Sarah Shockley and thepaincompanion.com. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Anne Shockley and www.thepaincompanion.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.