The Pain Companion
  • Home
  • about
  • Videos
  • Books
  • Interviews
  • reviews
  • resources
  • Contact

Getting Past the Sadness and Isolation of Living with Chronic Pain

7/11/2018

4 Comments

 
Picture
This post was originally published as a guest post for Counting My Spoons, June 18, 2018 LINK
All of us living with chronic pain are aware of how difficult it is on a physical level. Very aware, most of the time. But what we sometimes don’t acknowledge is the immense toll living with physical pain takes on our emotional life as well.

We are usually so immersed in the demands of our body pain, that we feel we don’t have the energy or capacity for dealing with our emotional hurts at the same time. These include: sadness, frustration, blame, shame, resentment, anger, hopelessness, isolation, and loneliness to name a few.

Sometimes we’re not dealing with them because we feel like acknowledging them will take us under. It’s just too much. Sometimes it’s because they seem like feelings we just have to live with while we’re living with pain. And sometimes, we simply don’t realize they’re there because they’ve become the ocean we swim in every day.

But if we don’t recognize and begin to work to relieve some of our sadness, loss, anger and shame about being in pain, we might find ourselves trapped inside the weight of our own grief and hopelessness. If ignored for too long, the emotions we don’t find a way to acknowledge and express can lead to depression, bitterness, and despair.

Let’s not go there. Let’s see what we can do to relieve the sadness and isolation of living with chronic pain and create a greater sense of ease and well being, even while we’re still living with pain.

Suggestions for overcoming the intense emotions of living with chronic pain


  1. Find someone to tell your pain story to –someone who will listen without trying to fix anything or assign blame. If there is no one you can trust to do that, talking to a pet is a surprisingly good second choice.
  2. Find creative ways to express your pain. Your physical and emotional pains can be expressed through art, writing, singing, dancing, or even howling.
  3. Find someone you can help, either through sharing your insights, becoming a companion, or being an understanding listener.
  4. Don’t isolate yourself. We all have days when we don’t want to go out. That’s understood. But human interaction is a basic need. Find ways to reach out and be with others, even if in brief amounts of time.
  5. Stay engaged with life. What did you used to love to do that you’re not doing now? How can you participate, if only for a short time or in the most minimal of ways? What new things can you learn about and participate in?
  6. Connect with the greater part of you that lives beyond this pain. This can be done through prayer, meditation, music, or other creative expressions with the intention of accessing the greater You.
  7. Re-connect with your dreams of the future. Create a dream that includes the person you are becoming through this journey with pain.
  8. Don’t stand still either on the inside or on the outside. This leads to a feeling of stagnation. Find a sense of movement, no matter how small: physical, emotional, creative, or spiritual.
  9. Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself and to your body soothingly and with love.

Remember, as I often say, pain is a landscape we’re moving through. It is not the totality of who we are. We only lose our way if we sit down and give up.

As we travel along our path through chronic pain, let’s remember to be kinder and more compassionate toward our bodies and to our whole self, feeling what needs to be felt, expressing what needs to be expressed, and loving the parts of ourselves that are asking to be loved.


SUBSCRIBE!

Picture

Sarah Anne Shockley has lived with nerve pain from Thoracic Outlet Syndrome since 2007. She  is the author of The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom for Living with and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain (New World Library June, 2018).
4 Comments
Jo-Lue Bloomer
7/12/2018 09:41:28 am

Great article! I think this part of the chronic pain journey is often ignored both by us and the medical profession. The body and mind are intimately connected. Therefore, it is important to acknowledge both physical and psychological pain. I must admit I spend too much time looking back and grieving the person I WAS before my illness instead of acknowledging who I am in the present.
I have found the most powerful thing I can do for me is to help others on their journey. Helping others reminds me that I am still a valuable member of society. It can be as simple as a smile or reaching something down from a high shelf at the grocery store. Perhaps a phone call to an elderly relative to brighten their day and, as a result, mine also.
Thanks!

Reply
Sarah link
7/12/2018 09:44:49 am

Glad you enjoyed the article. Yes, so important to remember we still have a life, even in and with the pain, and we still have something we can offer to others. Thanks for your comment, Jo-Lue! Sarah

Reply
Kris
7/12/2018 01:42:38 pm

Thank you, Sarah. I look forward to reading your work because it is always spot on and helpful.

Reply
Sarah link
7/12/2018 01:51:09 pm

Thank you so much, Kris, I'm glad to hear it's useful to you! S.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Welcome to The Pain Companion Blog! Reflections and sound advice on living with chronic pain - a peaceful way station on the path to greater well being.
    About Sarah Anne Shockley

    Picture

    Books

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    RSS Feed

    Chronic Illness Bloggers
    © 2015-2021 Sarah Shockley and thepaincompanion.com. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Anne Shockley and www.thepaincompanion.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.